Lost Dreams

I think I must be crazy. At least that is what D leads me to believe. It's as if this pregnancy didn't count. As if it didn't matter.

I suppose because is was 'unknown' and 'unplanned' and D didn't have to deal with it for very long (just one night of me writhing in pain and screaming) that it didn't exist in his world.

Perhaps it didn't in mine.

Except that it did. This was our child. I fell instantly in love with it the moment my OB told me over the phone that she thought I was having a miscarriage.

D acts like he wants to forget it happened.

But it did.

We lost a child.

I lost a child.

A lifetime of hopes and dreams found and lost in a few short hours.

And I'm reminded of it every time I use the bathroom.

And my heart is breaking.

Add this into the mix of my crazy and messed up family - who are more concerned with if my brother will show up Saturday for my mom's birthday party.

Fun times in our house I tell you.....